Perimenopause - The Silent Transition, Spoken Aloud

0:00 Welcome back to the women's mental health podcast. I'm Randi and I'm Jess, and we're two licensed psychotherapists. This is a safe place where we talk about mental health, wellbeing, and strategies for coping with life's challenges and how all of this is normal and you are not alone. Today, we're delving into an important topic, understanding perimenopause. Yes. You can find us and more resources on our website, womensmentalhealthpodcast. com. Okay, so have you ever had these thoughts? What exactly is perimenopause and when does it typically start? What are common signs that I might be entering into perimenopause?

0:40 Can perimenopause affect my mental health? Yes. Hell yes. Absolutely yes. Yes, yes, yes. How long does perimenopause last? Are there treatments that can help ease the perimenopausal symptoms? How does perimenopause impact sexuality and intimacy? Is it normal for me to feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster during perimenopause? I'm laughing. Yes. Yes. Totally. Does perimenopause mean I'm at a higher risk for certain health issues? Can I still get pregnant during perimenopause? God, that would be awful. I'm so sorry. Starting all over during perimenopause at this stage. Okay. What lifestyle changes can support me through perimenopause? why is it called perimenopause?

1:20 You might wonder. Well, perimenopause refers to the transitional phase leading up to menopause. This is The time period during which women experience hormonal fluctuations and many physical changes. The thing about perimenopause, I'm gonna sidetrack for a second, menopause is when life gets easier. Yes, after all of this. After all of this. You think that it's pre menopause, so it should be easier, but it's actually all the crap that is happening leading up to menopause, which is the end of it. So, this can happen from age 25 to 50.

2:01 It's a really Or later. Or later, yeah, depending, but a lot of women have it happening earlier nowadays, and And I wonder if that's because Our girls are starting their periods earlier. It's probably environmental, I would think, and how that affects our hormones. So really when we seek mental health. and self care for this. It can really help us overall in our well being journey because this really impacts all aspects of our life, all aspects, all aspects. And so from a mental health perspective, though, perimenopause, it really contributes to so much. everything like anxiety, depression, irritability, mood swings.

2:45 and there's like 40 different signs plus some of what this is. It can be irregular periods or it can be like heavier periods. Heavy periods or two in a month or a really long one. Hot flashes, night sweats. having a decrease in your libido or in your sexual drive. Maybe you're like, why do I all of a sudden feel like I don't want to have sex anymore and am I broken? I thought that for a while. I previously had a really high sex drive and then all of a sudden nothing. And I was like, what's wrong with me? Mood swings, really bad mood swings. Really bad. Yeah. So, one time I was cleaning, I was like, there's some smell in, in our bedroom.

3:26 And so I'm cleaning our bedroom, and I first said, like, let me just change the sheets. I'm changing the sheets. I'm like, no, that's not it. Okay, I'm gonna go wash all the blankets and the comforter. No, okay, maybe it's the pillows. I'm gonna wash the pillows. Okay, let me wash the pillows now. And then, right before I was getting ready to actually scrub my carpets, in walked my husband. And I was like, Oh my God, it's him. He's the smell. And normally I'm very attracted to his chemistry. Yeah. The smell is different. I was like, Oh God, I didn't tell him that. Yeah. that's how I knew something was wrong with me. So something had changed in your olfactory smelling. It was like, what's off?

4:08 Yes. And I was like, Oh, it is me. Because normally I'm like, I like it, but Nope. Nope. It was totally him. Yeah. Totally. Just he was the smell in our bedroom that I was not liking. I know you're laughing, but yeah, but this, these are things that come on kind of out of nowhere. For me, it was like, I all of a sudden gotten really bad insomnia. Like I could not sleep at all, no matter what I did. What medicine I took nothing was knocking me out, and I was like, what is going on here, why can I not sleep no matter, sleeping pills or magnesium or whatever I was taking, being exhausted, and I still couldn't quiet my body, and so I was started looking into this and was like, oh, I'm going through perimenopause.

4:56 Yay, me. Yay, you. I was picking up my meds once and the pharmacist there had asked, I don't know, we were talking about something. I said, Oh yeah, this is for my, for perimenopause symptoms. And she looked at me, she goes, does it help you sleep? I'm having a hard time sleeping right now. And I was like, it helps. It doesn't make it perfect, but it helps. She goes, Oh, yeah. Okay, I'm probably gonna have to start these two then because yeah, she apparently was going through it too. She was, because I'm, I was like moody irritable. She's like, oh, yeah. Yeah, my mood swings were like off the charts and I was like, what is wrong? Because all my other symptoms normally are managed and then all of a sudden it was just like these super high highs and super low lows like out of nowhere and I couldn't really explain. Explain what was triggering it.

5:37 Yeah. Nothing is triggering it. Yeah. Your hormones are triggering it. And so it's really, really important that we start to educate ourselves as women and educate other women about perimenopause because we don't have enough. I remember one time I had a male doctor and after him, I will never see a male doctor again. Sorry if there's some great ones, but I won't do it. Yeah. He said, no, you're not in menopause until you, you stop having your period for a year. Yeah. They don't. And I was like, Oh, okay. So, but he didn't say anything about perimenopause. He didn't say anything about hormone fluctuations. I didn't until I started researching it. I didn't even know it was a thing. All I kept thinking was like menopause, like eventually I'm going to hit menopause, like when I'm, older.

6:20 And now that it's coming on sooner and sooner for a lot of women and not even knowing this was a thing. And eventually I found out. found a specialist that specialized in women's sexual and hormonal health. The thing was, too, I thought I needed to get all this testing done. Well, a lot of time you don't even need testing. It's based off of symptoms because your hormones fluctuate so much. There's no way to get a baseline based off of blood work. So really you need to be tracking like these symptoms that you can go to your doctor or, nurse practitioner with and talk to them about that so that they can. And once I started, I tried every natural, Supplement out there.

7:01 And for some people, will they help for me? It didn't. And so I just started hormone replacement therapy and I am back to sleeping again, which is amazing, because I felt like I was losing my mind. Yeah, I'm not getting any more 3 a. m. texts from you. Yeah, no. I'm not getting those anymore. I was like, huh. I'm not sending them either, because I'm sleeping pretty good, too. Yeah, but with the education, like you were saying we can really then normalize this. Yes. Support each other. for women that are navigating this, or, like you said, once we educate ourselves, then we can be prepared for it when it does happen if, you're younger. And it really helps us not feel so isolated or alone when you're like, Oh, we're all going through this.

7:42 And when I have women that come to me, and first thing I do when they start talking about this, I look at their age. Okay, are you over 40? And the next thing I say is, is your mom still around? Okay, great. Can you ask her when she went through menopause or when she started to go through it? Because our older generation, they also didn't know about perimenopause either. Yeah. And it's worse for us with ADHD. Oh, really? That's interesting. Yes. It also makes our ADHD worse, just like puberty and pregnancy. Which we've talked about. Mm hmm. Perimenopause, your hormones are off and so it makes your, ADHD symptoms worse. That makes sense.

8:24 Yeah. That's why a lot of women don't get diagnosed until later because of all the hormones being off and then their ADHD going off and your brain isn't working anyway during this time of the, time of year, time of your life. Yeah. Yeah. So when we encourage this open communication and this honest conversation about perimenopause, when we talk about our symptoms, when we talk about coping strategies, when we talk about resources. Yeah. It creates a supportive community and it empowers women who are going through this transition. So we don't feel alone. And I hope when my daughter gets to this age that The world recognizes it a lot better, that generation is already better about talking about their periods Oh, yeah way better than my generation was and so I'm hoping that we can easily go Oh, you must be going through perimenopause and it is hard because there's no test I mean, we'll run through the 40 things here in a minute, but there's like 40 different signs that you could be going through perimenopause and you don't have to have all of them either.

9:28 There's no real criteria, It's different for each woman because our hormones and our bodies are all different and our genetics are all different. So it's not a one size fits all. Exactly. So let's go over our have you ever questions. So Exactly, let's define perimenopause and when it starts. Okay, so perimenopause is the stage right before menopause. Menopause is when your periods have stopped for one year, solid. That's considered perimenopause. And what that does is it's signaling the end of your reproductive years, which means that Once your period has stopped for a year, you are no longer able to have a baby, which, by the way, is a really weird thing to, like, kind of grieve, even though I don't want another kid.

10:15 I remember thinking I was sad that I didn't have that choice anymore, which is weird, Because I've been in menopause. I'm past that stage, thank God. But usually it starts with women in their 40s, but sometimes women start in their 30s. It really depends. It's this time when your hormones fluctuate. And everyone is different. So an interesting thing that my doctor was talking to me about is that she is seeing a lot of research come up currently about women who have been on birth control. For a long period of time or early, like I know, like when I used to have, period issues, they'd just be like, go on birth control. They're finding that women who have been on birth control, it has impacted our sex hormone binding globulin.

11:01 Globulin. I can see it in my head. Yeah, say that. It's almost changing the way that your sex hormone has been bound, and so it's impacting your hormones, creating almost like this earlier perimenopause that women are having, and so it's interesting to see like those of us who were put on birth control, for a long period of time, how it might have impacted it. Okay. The way our body reacts, Younger women are not going on birth control the way we did. And I don't think it has anything to do with like having less sex. No, I think there's more of an education and they're not wanting that in their bodies. Exactly.

11:42 And I'm seeing that there's an increase in men getting vasectomies because it's easier. as a partnership goes it shouldn't be I think before I was like, oh no, I would never do that where it should be like why not? That's so much less Invasive than what a woman has to go through. Exactly. And why is it always on the women? Mm hmm. Oh, that's another soapbox I'll get off my box here. Okay. what are common signs that you might be entering perimenopause? Well, if your husband smells weird, that is definitely one sign. You may notice changes in your menstrual cycle, it can get longer, shorter, heavier, heavier, regular murder scene heavy.

12:23 It really just depends. Some of the ones that are really easy to detect are hot flashes. A hot flash is when Your chest feels like it's all of a sudden on fire. Yeah, it's like flush and it yeah It gets red and it raises up into your face and all of a sudden you're sweating And this is almost like when you get embarrassed, it feels like that to me The other one is night sweats and that's how you wake up and you are just drenched and you're just like this is so gross sleep disturbances like Randy was talking about not being able to sleep or waking up or insomnia. Mood swings. that's when you're like up and down almost like you're PMSing all the time. A big one too is hair loss.

13:05 Like a lot of hair loss. Like I lost so much of my hair. Oh yeah. The other one too is hair on your face. Mm. I always joke that it's now going from your head to your face. Yeah. It's trying to work its way down your body weight gain too, especially in your belly area. Mm-Hmm. panic attacks. Mm-Hmm. being really tired. Headaches. The brain foggy, like forgetfulness. Right. There's Painful urination body odor, it's also smelling your partner differently, but you're smelling yourself, differently, because there could be a change in your hormone levels. I had to change deodorants because the deodorant that I've used my entire life wasn't working This is another thing that I think we don't realize too I have had a lot of changes in my dental health my teeth.

13:51 I've gotten a lot more cavities your gum health and your bone health and your body, you've lost, some of your bone density. It's because of, a decrease in saliva. Your mouth gets dry and when your mouth is dry, more bacteria gets in. It's because low estrogen levels causes you to have dry mouth. And so they have gum. You can drink water. There's other things that you can do. We talk about brittle nails. Yeah. feeling dizzy all of a sudden, tingling, sensations I started getting that like in my feet went and got all these tests done and they're like, we can't find anything wrong with you and I was like. I remember you saying that. Yeah. And I was like, maybe it's your medication.

14:31 Yeah. And so I think that it was just. Yeah. Changes in my body. Allergies. Frequent allergies. More prone to cold and flu, you, remember, you were getting sick for a long time there. Yeah, I was getting, yeah. I felt like I was sick for four months straight. Yeah. all this leads to also affecting your mental health. So, how do we see it affecting mental health? I moved us four states away. True story. True story. I was done and we left and moved, okay, maybe three states, we picked up and moved in the middle of it. And I don't know if I wasn't having perimenopause, would I have moved us? I mean, I'm glad I did it, but I don't know. I was so toast.

15:11 I was so done. The anxiety, depression, mood swings, part of it is that reach out for help. I remember. I know my mom was telling me the story about my grandma when she was going through perimenopause. I also think grandma was ADHD, by the way. she thought she was going to try and kill herself. A lot of women feel suicidal because they cannot cope anymore. And I feel that that brings a lot of shame to women who feel like we should have it all together and we should be able to do everything. Again, listen to our kin keeping episode series that we've done because we really don't need to shoulder this all on our own. So there's no shame in struggling.

15:54 So it's important to talk about this and seek support, whether that's friends, doctors, therapists, and find strategies to navigate this while you're in it because it can feel like you're drowning, especially if you can't sleep and you can't think and then you can't function and it just can just pile on top of you. You know, Randy, we should do a group for perimenopause. That's a good idea. We should do a support group for that. I think that's a really good idea. That's a good idea. Because I have not been able to find one. And I think so many women need to know that they're not alone and maybe they don't want to divorce their husbands because they chew too loud. Right.

16:35 Or because they smell funky all of a sudden. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. It can be weird and I remember my mom kept going, this is hormones, this is hormones. And I was like, fuck it's that fucking hormones. And it was. Yeah. Cause you can't see the forest for the trees when you're in the thick of it. Nope. And how long can perimenopause last? It depends on every woman to woman. Go ask your mom if she's around what she went through, if she can remember. I've heard that my doctor told me it can last up to 10 years. Sometimes, but I think for most people, it can be several years. But think about it. I think I started my early forties and I remember going to a doctor and he was like, Nope, Nope, Nope.

17:17 The stupid male doctor I'll never go to again. Right. I must've been 42 maybe. And I finally finished at 48. Yeah, I want to say my symptoms started at 41 and I'm 43 right now. did we just give our ages out online? We just, I mean, don't tell anybody, but like I just now finally I've been struggling with it that long and finally just got help for it and went to a specialist for it. And I was struggling that whole time. And I was finally like, enough is enough, and so that's why it's so important to connect with the cues that your body is giving you and prioritize yourself and your health.

18:00 We talk about self care. Going to a doctor is self care. Making time to find the nurse practitioner or doctor or specialist that's going to help you is self care. Yeah. I kept putting it on the back burner. There's so many other things to do. My kids need this. So and so needs this, work needs this. And I was like, finally, I can't function. Anymore, don't let yourself get to that point. No, okay. So Randy. Yes. Are there treatments that can ease? Perimenopausal symptoms, there's lots of different Paths to relief from like I talked about hormone replacement therapy, which is often called HRT. Yeah. HRT to lifestyle adjustments with diet, exercise.

18:45 Really you need to discuss it with, a therapist or a doctor to come up with a personalized plan for yourself. You might have to try different things and see if they work for you. If you want to try a more natural, route, or if you want to try, there's That's There's pills you can take, there's patches you can take, I think some people do like a pellet that you can. Yeah, that's the bio, bio something. It's, it's, it is bio that you stick like in, bio identity hormones that you stick in like your butt fat. I think insurance doesn't cover it. You have to research what works for you financially and for your body I will tell you though, is that a lot of people are staying away from hormone replacement therapy.

19:29 Mm-Hmm. because it has been linked to higher risk of breast cancer. Yes. And uterine cancer as well. Mm-Hmm. Yeah. Mm-Hmm. My grandmother on my dad's side and my grandmother on my mother's side both ended up with breast cancer due to hormone replacement therapy. So my mom didn't do hormone replacement therapy and neither did I. And if you can't do hormones, the other option is an SSNI. It's not an SSRI. It's an SSRI. I always forget. It's Effexor and Paxil. Those are the two antidepressants, anti anxieties that have shown to help with perimenopause. It helps with the hot flashes.

20:09 It helps with the sleep. S N R I. S N R I. So serotonin and non adrenal repetate inhibitors. That's what it stands for. It's a mouthful. That is. You don't need to know that. No, no, no. But there are two of them that help with it. So it is Paxil and Effexor. And those are the ones that the doctors will give you if you need help and you don't want to do hormone replacement. I've heard of things like Yam Cream and things like that. I don't. things. I tried a bunch of different ones off Amazon. For me, they didn't help. I've known that they've helped other people. sometimes it's, hit and miss, you gotta try stuff, and Throw whatever you can at it and see what sticks.

20:51 I mean, seriously, I was spraying myself with this spray, I was trying to do anything I could to try to help it. Right, and that's for me, I was like, Okay, I know that, hormone replacement therapy Has a lot of side effects, but it was worth it to me to explore that. If you don't have the history, the family history of it, then you're probably going to be fine. Unfortunately I did. And so I've never been able to do the hormones. how does the, how does the perimenopause, how does perimenopause impact sexuality and intimacy, Randy? It can really decrease your libido. And for some women too, it can cause vaginal dryness. So then that. That could be painful, if you're having intercourse.

21:33 And so you really need to learn how to communicate with your partner that you need these things or maybe that's why you are interested in sex right now. And so really opening up those lines of communication. Um, with your partner to find what you need, and that that's why it's not that you don't find them attractive or, you don't want to, but if your body physically is just like, Nope maybe there's a reason because you need to stop and take care of yourself. There's also some sort of a string, estrogen string that people use inside their vagina. To help with the lube piece of it.

22:14 Okay. I know. It's like some sort of like, it's like a per, I don't, maybe I'm not thinking pearls, but it's some sort of a string with estrogen on it that helps obviously it's prescription. Oh, so there is a vaginal ring. So the, it's called E string. Yeah. E string. So it's a estradol vaginal ring. I take the estradol patches that I just put on my body because I can't, remember to take, a medicine, but you could also do this if you are experiencing the vaginal dryness, you can ask, or if you're having, some women after menopause get vaginal atrophy, which is, I'm looking at me like, I was like, how would your vagina atrophy?

22:57 I'm going to have to look that up and it happens. Especially older women, so this can help with that. It's interesting is that after the age of 65 or 70, Medicare stops paying for this. They figure you're 70. You don't need to have sex anymore. Yeah. I don't know. That's rude. Isn't it? I'm retired. What else am I gonna do? I finally got the kids out of the damn house. Okay, so is it normal to feel like you're on an emotional roller coaster during panamenop, panamenop, panamenopause? Panamenopause? Panty, panty pause? I should call it panty pause. Oh, that's hilarious. I'm quoting that term right now. Panty pause.

23:37 Yes. It is so normal, so, so normal. Just to be so moody and to not know. It's like remember when you were in puberty, you'd be angry and you wouldn't know why. Or maybe we can't remember that far back. Look at your kids in puberty, right? They're in puberty and they're moody as shit, and you're just like, whoa, the hell's over there. It's the same thing. It's the exact same thing. And my poor husband had, we had a perimenopause and puberty happening at the same time in our house. Oh, yeah. That's fun. Let me tell you. So with perimenopause, are we also at risk for other health issues? I think this is when we end up having to watch more of what we eat and take care of ourselves.

24:23 This is where we have to do more of like the weightlifting versus the cardio. Oh yeah. My doctor was saying to do resistance training. Yes. She was saying like, don't do cardio. It's not going to help. Nope. Like she was like, you need to do resistance training, which you can see here in my office. I have all my lovely they're all pink by the way. Yeah. I've got cute like kettle balls weight. balls and resistant training bands that I have not used. But they look good. They look like they're there. They're ready for me when I'm ready to do my resistance training. The other day, Randy, The lady that does my Botox. She, I do right here for your angry 11. I don't have an angry 11.

25:03 I have a big fuck you one. So I got rid of that anyway. See, I can't do it. I can't do it. Oh, yeah. Okay. She had this chair and it was made for women who laugh, you pee a little bit. Yeah. And you're, that's not supposed to happen. I just found out. My doctor said I needed to do pelvic floor therapy. Because I was like, yeah, I, I pee when I laugh. And she's like, that's not normal. We teach women that it's normal, but it's not. No, you can do pelvic floor to get that, but she's got this chair that you sit on and it has a little bump in the middle of his chair. And it like, you just put it right between pairing right between your perennial.

25:44 Thank you. That one. I was like, what is that right there? I'm making a little wiggle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That one. You put it right there, and then it like, it like, vibrates or does something, so it's like doing a million Kegels. Oh! Without you doing it. That's very interesting. I need to look that up. I'll put that on the website. Yes! She's she's down the road. And it's just this chair, this this specialized chair they have now for women. So you don't have to sit there and do it, it does it for you. And it helps you with the incontinence, because that's also part of perimenopause. Again, you can do this chair thingy, or you can do, like, after you have a baby, if you still have that issue, Mm hmm. You can, like you said, do pelvic floor. There's a lot of different pelvic floor stuff.

26:26 And did you know the pelvic floor stuff goes up your butt sometimes? What? You think that pelvic floor stuff is just through your vagina, right? Well, I mean, your whole, like Lower half area, right? Do you know how they do it? No, because I haven't gone. She gave me a prescription to go see the physical therapist for it, but I haven't gone. They will, put themselves up inside you and massage like your, your insides. And some people, they have to do it rectally because it helps better. No, but stuff here. I didn't know that either until somebody told me and I was like, really? And I guess, we need to research that a little bit more before we put that out there.

27:07 No, it's true. It's totally true. Okay. But we probably should talk more about that because I didn't know either as a therapist. And I was like, Oh, I did not know that, and I wouldn't have known that unless somebody shared that with me. Yeah, I mean, rectally you could have issues there, too. Yeah, it's your wall. It's the wall right there, and that's where a lot of that pressure comes from. So, anyway. Well, because, I mean, you can tear, too, during childbirth so I guess it could weaken, all of that whole area. So, anyways, that's a whole other podcast. That's a whole other podcast. Okay, so, this is the one that I freaked out on. Can I still get pregnant during perimenopause? Yes. And do you know how many women take pregnancy tests because their periods are off? Oh, yeah. And they're like, oh, fuck, am I pregnant?

27:48 Oh, God. No, no, I'm not pregnant. Okay. Because your cycle starts getting funky. Right. But you can still get knocked up. So either have your man get snip snipped or stay on some type of contraceptive. If you are exhausted like we are when you're older and do not want to get knocked up. God, you hear about those women that would be like, almost 50 and having kids because they got pregnant during perimenopause. Yeah, because they thought that they couldn't conceive because their body was changing. And that's not true. You are still ovulating. It just doesn't work. That's like, you can't get pregnant when you're on your period. No, no. Oh, yeah. Or the, uh, oh, you can't get pregnant the first time. Remember those stupid things when we were kids?

28:30 Yeah. So what lifestyle changes can we do to support ourselves going through perimenopause? First it's going to be stress reduction, reduce your stress, reduce your drinking. Oh yeah. That's like when you can't drink red wines anymore, it's cannons get to you. And so a lot of people have to cut back or just quit drinking entirely because they can't do it anymore. Exercising regularly, making sure you take care of yourself. Like Randy said, more of the resistance training, going on walks, eating better. Yeah, better sleep habits if you can get, I know, if you can get sleep. And be gentle with yourself, be kind to yourself, have understanding with what you're going through.

29:13 Compassion. Self compassion for yourself. Okay. So practical support that we need while we're feeling like we are out of control. Okay. Household chore help. Alright, so let's talk about that. What does that look like, Randi? What does household chore look like? Who's supposed to get the damn chores to get the chores done? Sorry. Soapbox time. Ready? Ready? So you need to communicate with your partner, your family, your kids, everybody, your whole household that everybody needs to be helping. Mom, partner, wife, fur, mom, whoever you are, that, this is a partnership. We all need to be pitching on mom needs to take, or I, cut out mom, I as a woman need time to get my shit together.

30:03 So everybody, all hands on deck. All hands on deck. And you know what I said? I said, I am no longer putting into people who are no longer, who are not putting into me. Yeah. Whether that's your kids or half of those boundaries, have that conversation. Mom's fed up or I'm fed up. I need help. You need a, I'm not doing everything by myself. I don't need help. I need participation, right? You are not helping me by doing your dishes, right? You are participating in this family. Alleviate some of the stress. Yes. Be a good roommate. Partner. Just otherwise. Mm-Hmm. You're gonna be three states away. Without me, I'll be, I'll be somewhere else and really build a supportive network.

30:46 So just what does a supportive network look like? A supportive network is having your doctor or your one that understands this and is educated about it. Exactly. Having friends that understand whether it's your church, whether it's, a mom's group or like this group that Randy and I probably are going to put together, right? Like a support group, whether that's. Therapists or online friends, whoever you need to help you understand what's going on while you're walking through this and empathize with the challenges that perimenopause really brings to women's doorstep.

31:27 You are not crazy. You are not crazy. This is just a crazy feeling moment in your life. And it does get better. Let me tell you, I'm on the other side of it. Yeah, she keeps telling me, it's gonna be okay, Randy. And I'm like, if you say so. It's going to be okay. It gets so much better. It gets so much better when we get to the other side of it. Yes, we have other issues now we have to look for, but we're not, I'm not moody. Like I was, well, I'm still moody, but not like I was during not, not like the roller coaster up and down, the roller coaster of it. And we need to remember that this journey that we're on is unique for each of us as a woman.

32:11 And we need to understand that and we need to validate that with not only ourselves, but with each other. And when we support each other through these life stages, it can make such a significant difference. difference in your mental, emotional, and physical well being. And sexual well being. Yes. Let's not forget about that. There's a big piece of connecting with your partner or yourself through sex. Right. I kept thinking like I was broken because like I wasn't, I'm not interested in it anymore, and I couldn't understand why, like, all of a sudden it was just like a light switch turned off, and, I was going to therapy, and I was, trying, other medicines and supplements.

32:53 That's not what I thought she was going to say. I really didn't think that was I'm not gonna talk about that, Jess. Just kidding. We should talk about that. I will talk about that because I even tried all of that stuff, like bringing, toys and other things and I just wasn't my body was just like, no, brakes are on, we're not going anywhere. She's on a panty break. And so it was so frustrating because I was like, this is something that I usually enjoy, so why? Am I hitting this brick wall? So when we understand it more, we can strengthen ourselves and our resiliency to walking through this life stage. Yeah. You're not alone. You, you are really not alone.

33:35 And once you can go, ah, this is what's going on. It'll normalize it for you and for others. And it's just, you can, you don't have to do it. So frustratingly without medication or without help. Mm hmm. You don't have to do this alone And that's why we've created this community and that's why we're here And I think that this is a really great idea that we should create this support network. Yeah for this specifically So look for that information to on our website women's health MentalHealthPodcast. com because I think we're going to do something with that there and really learn to prioritize your mental and physical health. You deserve to thrive, not just survive.

34:18 Oh, I like that. I really like that. All right. Take care, guys.